People always want to know: Where are you from?  That is a tough question to answer.  I was born in Staten Island, New York, in the military hospital closest to Groton, Connecticut, where we lived.  But, I'm not from there.  I was just born there ... We traveled so much.  Some of my earliest memories are at the beach in Louisiana with my Mom.  Mom liked to stay at the beach from sun up to sun down. Well, almost. Dad couldn't be with us at the beach much.  He was busy with his work for the United States Coast Guard. Oh, how I loved my Dad.

When I was about 4 or 5, I was terribly ill with the Mumps. At the time of this very painful illness, something else happened. I was molested. This ugly event haunted me for the next 30 some years . . . 

Because of Dad's work in the Coast Guard, we traveled a lot! These travels caused me to be uprooted and enrolled in new schools 13 times! I knew the chances of moving were always great, so I had no motivation to make friends. Plus, Mom and I never had a real good mother/daughter relationship. It just didn't happen. We went to the Mormon church some, though I don't remember much. I remember getting baptized "into the church" at age 8 and the Elders laying hands on me and emphatically telling me "Receive the Holy Ghost!" But, they never taught me anything about salvation or the new birth.  I never heard anything about becoming a new creature in Christ. 

By age 14 insecurities and an inferiority complex had taken root. Out of all the schools I went to, not one classmate told me about Jesus, or invited me to church. I had been in 10 schools and felt like I didn't belong anywhere.  I never heard a word from anyone about Jesus Christ being the answer. I had a very low self-esteem and Mom didn't seem to even like me.  Dad was gone a lot with his work. I would lie in bed at night and cry, and wonder why was I born?. My Sophomore year I began sampling whiskey, vodka, gin, rum - whatever was available, over at a friend's house. I stayed all night with her every chance I got. One day Mom announced to my astonishment that she and my Dad were getting a divorce. It totally devastated me. To make matters worse, we would be relocating to Carlinville, Illinois.  Carlinville High School was my 13th school in 12 years. I hated Carlinville. I missed my Dad. There was always a wall between my Mom and I that prevented us from being close. I hooked up with some kids who drank and smoked. My new friends also got high. This was during the Vietnam era. I had always heard the U.S. military forces brought a lot of powerful dope back with them. We smoked marijuana (pot) and hashish -- and I thought it was great, until I had to get up for school. I'd sneak up a ladder to my second floor  bedroom. It worked great until the night Mom found my ladder! I was locked out of the house, in the dead of winter, with snow all over the ground. I slept in the car and almost froze to death.

Soon, I discovered Acid, Mescaline, Quaaludes, THC, PCP, Cocaine, uppers, downers -- whatever I could get my hands on ...  (next page)